A Prayer for the "Goodbye Parents"

I've seen posts from a number of foster parents in the last week who have had to say their goodbyes to their foster-loves. This is my prayer for these "goodbye parents":

First, I pray for your kids. They may not be in your home, but they will always be in your heart, and you will always consider them "your kids" in a way.

I pray that they are safe and loved, because you signed up for this heartbreak so that they could know those things.

I pray that even if they were too little to remember, that the love you gave them will never leave them and will make a difference for the rest of their lives.

I pray for their salvation; that even if you never see them again in this life, that you'll see them again in the next.

I pray that wherever they may be, God will also place someone who will teach them about Jesus' saving love for them.

Second, I pray for this child's family, because loving our fosters means loving the people who they love and who love them.

I pray thanks to God for restoring their broken family to each other.

I pray God will rescue them from their sin and the situations that led their kids into foster-care, that they may never have to be apart again.

I pray they will be wise, loving, and godly parents.

Third, I pray for you, foster mom or foster dad.

I pray that you would be able to feel confident that this child is loved and safe, wherever they are.

I pray you would have true, deep joy in the restoration of this family, even as you mourn the loss of this child as part of yours.

I pray that when you find that long lost sock in the laundry, or the pacifier under the bed, or when you hear their favorite song, see their favorite toy, or see a child who is their age or who looks like them, that you would have peace and be able to remember your time together with joy.

I pray that when the tears do come, that you will embrace the love that you have for this child.

I pray that you would grieve well.

I pray against bitterness towards the system, the family, and God.

I pray that God will draw you near to him as you walk through each day.

I pray that if you don't have other children in your home, that you would adjust back to this childless stage of life well.

I pray that if you have mixed emotions about this child leaving your home, that you would not feel undue guilt in that.

I pray for your marriage, that you would be able to comfort and encourage each other and talk with each other and point each other towards Christ, that you may be each other's greatest earthly comfort.

I give thanks to God that he has allowed you to live out this calling to love your neighbor as yourself, and pray that he will continue to confirm this calling if it is his will for you to continue fostering.

I pray that if you need a break, that you would have one and take the time that you need without guilt.

I pray for wisdom in your words and actions as you process this grief; that you would not speak or act rashly and in ways you will regret.

Fourth, I pray for your other children.

I pray that they would understand why their foster-sibling is gone.

I pray they would know how to express the feelings they have in healthy ways.

I pray that they would adjust back to life without them well, but that they can remember and continue to love them even in their absence.

Fifth, I pray for your friends, family, and church family.

I pray God places people around you who understand, or, who are willing to listen and learn if they don't.

I pray that when they don't know what to say, that God would give them wisdom so that they would say and do helpful things.

I pray that you would hear even the unhelpful things with an attitude of patience, grace and appreciation, giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Lastly, I pray for the things that I don't know are hard for you today. With my limited experience, I can't even begin to understand how different foster-care situations affect different people, and how your situation is affecting you.

I pray that you would grow in grace, in comfort, in peace, and in love for God and neighbor each day.

Amen.


If you are a foster parent who has said goodbye to a foster-love or who is going to soon, I would love to know more ways that I can pray for you and support you in this goodbye. Obviously this prayer is based on my own experiences, so please, share with me and help me learn how to help you and my other fellow foster-parents better! Thank you for being willing to take on this heartbreak to give these little souls a safe and loving home for whatever time they needed it.