When Matt and I were engaged, we memorized the book of James together (well, he did, I got 4/5 chapters done). This means that the first chapter of James is ingrained in my mind deeper than nearly any other part of the Bible. This is how James 1 ends:
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
Foster children are not "orphans" in the sense that we normally think of it, but they are children who have been deemed by the state, in one way or another, as lacking any parent or parent figure to care for them. And they are in distress. These little people have had their whole lives ripped out from under them with no warning. They have lost parents, friends, teachers, and possibly siblings in the span of a few hours with very little explanation. These children may have witnessed or endured terrible things prior to showing up on our doorstep. They are orphans in distress. And they need help.
The truth is, they don't just need us though. They need the father to the fatherless. The defender of the poor. A shelter in times of trouble. The one who redeems sin and tragedy and makes things beautiful again. A never-failing, never-ending, never-leaving care-taker with a plan for their lives and the ability to enact it. They need the Lord. And the Lord chooses to act through his people. He chooses to give Christians the responsibility and privilege of caring for these kids and leading them into relationship with the one who can do so perfectly.
Our decision to do foster care begins with that reality: the calling and privilege of Christians to dispense Christ's love and mercy in tangible, every day ways. This is an intimidating truth. It is an uncomfortable truth. It means giving up earthly convenience and comfort for the sake of someone who will never be able to repay you. It is not easy. Don't think for a second that those who do foster-care or who do missions, or any other outworking of this calling are somehow immune to the sacrifice and pain involved. But it is worth it because our treasure is not in money, or ease, or sleep. It is in heaven. The ultimate goal of our life is to glorify God; that is the only thing worth pursuing with our lives. We have all of eternity to rest and "have it easy." What does it matter, if, in this life, we give up some things? What does it matter if some days are downright miserable and hard when, in the end, we will spend eternity with Christ? Things never seem as bad in retrospect than they do in the moment. When Matt and I were dating and engaged, we were long distance the entire time. It was miserable to be apart and we just couldn't wait to get married. Now that we are three years into marriage, the pain and difficulty of that wait have no bearing on my every-day-life other than to have developed a pattern of thinking that increases my thankfulness for each day that we spend together. Won't it be the same as we live this life and wait for Christ? (As a side note, isn't that how it is with anything we desire that we must wait for? The harder the wait for the gift, the more we rejoice in the giving!)
That's the theological basis for foster-care, but what about the practical? Matt and I have ALWAYS talked about foster-care and adoption. It's one of those things that the time is never "right for" though. Finances and life situations will always be a concern. For a long time we didn't pursue foster-care because we plan to move away when Matt finishes school. Last summer a small group I was in read "The Gospel Comes with a House Key" by Rosaria Butterfield. Her "radically ordinary hospitality" and her thorough idea of what hospitality and just life generally looks like for the Christian finally pushed us over the edge, and we submitted our application to CPS in August. If you read it you will easily understand how this book led us to take the first big step toward making foster-care a reality in our home, I can't recommend it enough! We decided to look into it, and to find out if it is better for us to do foster-care for the time that we can, even if it meant that a child might have to leave our home when we move. As we talked with social workers about this, they made it clear that they would rather have these kids in good homes for any amount of time that they can, than to not have us at all. And as we've gone through the process and become more and more committed to our future foster-kids, we've realized that the Lord is sovereign over the timing of these kids coming and going, and that we may have to stay put for a little while longer if that's what it takes to help our kids the most. And the Lord has given us so much contentment in that possibility.
We've also gone from thinking that this is a bad time to do foster-care to believing that it's the best! We have an AMAZING community and so much support from friends who literally live 30 seconds away from us. Can you get better than that? Oh, but you can, because it turns out that our little city has the most incredible network of foster-parent support that I could ask for! A facebook group with hundreds of people who are constantly offering up their hand-me-downs and furniture and formula and just about anything you could need to foster-parents for free. We have a consignment shop that keeps a "foster corner" stocked with clothes for all ages for foster-parents to come get any time and monthly respite nights available at local churches where licensed care-givers will take care of our kids while we have time to talk with and be encouraged by other foster-parents. We have friends who are willing to be background checked and finger printed so they can babysit for us. My mom and her friends just made us TEN fleece blankets so that each of our foster children will be able to choose their favorite to use when they come, and take it with them when they leave our home. Members of our church have given us hand-me-downs, and financial assistance as we prepped our house for these kids. The Lord has provided for us so generously that it's abundantly clear that this is what we are supposed to do. And we are SO excited to do it!
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