I took a picture of my calendar a few weeks ago and I wondered what would happen if my pictures app on my phone showed me pictures from a year in the future, instead of a year in the past. What if I’d seen a year ago, what life would be today? I would have been blown away, would have broken down in tears of joy.
Today, my calendar says I am 3 weeks away from holding my son in my arms, and we talk and plan as though more will follow with hardly a second thought. It’s more than I dared to dream most days.
A year ago, we were just finding out about Jellybean’s daddy; we’d been told he wasn’t in the picture, but there he was, and we were scared about what kind of man he might be and what would happen with this precious child.
Today, JB is written on my calendar at least once a week. Jellybean is loved by so much of her family; parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins; some biological, some step, and of course, some former foster. She comes to visit often, and at the end of the day, she goes home to her wonderful daddy, exactly where she belongs. It’s everything we’d hoped for.
A year ago, the monotony, exhaustion, and torn feelings of the working mom schedule were getting to me on top of everything else. I decided I didn’t want to work full time after Matt graduated, which meant leaving entirely, because part time wouldn’t work for my office on a long term basis.
Today, my calendar is marked two days a week with “work”. When I was going to leave again after filling in for a maternity leave in Fall, I was offered the exact amount of work I wanted each week. When it didn’t seem like it would work out for the clinic for me to keep this schedule, my bosses made an effort to find a place for me to stay when I asked. From the very start almost 4 years ago, this job has been everything we needed, exactly when we needed it.
A year ago, Matt was moving to virtual classes for his last semester of seminary. We didn’t know what he would do after because we couldn’t move out of state until Jellybean’s case was closed.
Today, he works for the seminary that we both love so much as he looks and waits for the Pastoral role God has planned for him. It’s the perfect job as we wait.
A year ago, we were trusting that though things were so uncertain, the Lord would provide and lead and care for us and our family.
Today, I look at my calendar and see that every. single. day. is marked with a reminder of God’s faithfulness, love, and goodness. It takes my breath away.
Last year, today, in every season of life, in every sorrow and every joy, morning by morning and year by year, “great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.”
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